The Neverending Blanket is complete! I should probably change the name of it but I like it the way it is. It's the first large blanket I've ever made. I started it in early 2011. It didn't really take me 2 whole years. It was one of those projects that I would work on furiously for a couple of weeks and then not touch it for a few months. This cycle continued and, the larger it grew, the more I thought I would never finish it. This project felt a bit overwhelming at times.
A few weeks ago, I took a week off of work and just stayed home with my family. It was laid back and wonderful. That week I took a good look at the progress I had actually made. Initially I was going to make this blanket big enough to fit on a twin bed for one of my boys. However, they have quilts my mother made and my husband and I made fleece tie blankets for them at Christmas too. So I laid out the blanket as it was and really looked at it. I hadn't done that in a while because I usually had it folded up so that I could continue working rows. After looking at it, I realized I could be finished with it if I wanted to be.
I just needed to make that decision. "It is good, just as it is."
Once I did, I finished the stripe I was working on and then added a darker gray border around the edge. In one afternoon I had gone from "this will never end" to "this is finished". My husband immediately took a nap on the couch with it. My sons argued over who got to use it. That night, I curled up under it's comfortable weight and warmth it provided. It's not large enough to fit a bed but it's larger than a regular lap blanket. It's perfect just as it is.
Are you sensing where I am going with this? If I can decide that this mammoth project that became an uphill battle to finish is perfect just as it is, can't I decide the same about myself? I always struggle with changes and goals that I make for myself. Some of them are easy and attainable, but some of them seem never ending as well. I don't view this blanket as giving up, rather I think I looked at it with new eyes and realized I was the only one keeping it from being complete and perfect, just as it is. I'm the only one who keeps myself from seeing that I'm good, just as I am. I can definitely strive to challenge myself and create a variety of goals but I need to accept me for me. You should try it. Accept you for you.
I realize this is just a blanket but it really did make me see that I put up my own road blocks. I make things harder than they need to be for myself. I am much too hard on myself. Sometimes, we just need to look at ourselves with new eyes and say "I am good, just as I am."
Project Neverending Blanket complete!